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22. Do you like what you read so far? Why are you bothering me? 3. Im away live with it. Impressive! Me neither. Good Comebacks 1. I'm not a bakery. You do realize makeup isnt going to fix your stupidity? 5. 29. it looks like your face cought on fire and sombody exsigwished it with a hamer. 75. You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room. Roses are red, violets are blue, so many people are pretty, but what happened to you? Positive misinterpretation: giving positive meaning reframing Tip 5. 83. Of course, coming up with a clever comeback on the spot can be difficult, which is why its always good to have a few mean ones up your sleeve. As an affiliate partner of various brands and sponsored content, this site may earn commission on qualifying purchases. } You cant be a d*ck simply because you have one. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. 7 Best Clean Comebacks For Bullies And Jerks These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. You dont need too many words to explain that the persons remark about you is proof that they are not welcome in that gathering at the time. Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! And I really hope you stay there. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Why dont you go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself. I might be fully vaccinated, but I'm still not going to hang out with you. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. 32. Youll go far someday. You are like a software update. Its the sound of me not caring. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. You're the reason gene pools need lifeguards. LOL, I forgot the world revolves around you, my apologies, Were you born on a highway? Can you repeat that because I want to remember the dumbest thing Ive ever heard? Then please continue reading this page because there are more good comebacks below. } ); I always root for the little guy. 1 You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. Stupidity isnt a crime. Whether youre responding to a bully, an idiot, or just someone who needs to be put in their place, a snappy retort can be the perfect way to put them in their place. Do I match your Average Expectation? I've heard a smarter statement come out in a fart. Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be healing the world. 20. It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. If i dont answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work? Youre not as bad as everyone says. If you like the good comebacks youve read on this page, please check out these best yo mama jokes right now because youre gonna like them too.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_6',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Row, row, row your boat gently down a raging fucking waterfall. The 0.01% of germs are afraid of contracting stupidity from you. I'd give you a nasty look, but you already have one. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Your email address will not be published. Youre as useless as a screen door on a submarine. If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldnt be you. Too bad there are also morons.". Its great to see how you dont let your education get in the way of your ignorance. If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Why not take today off? Youve got a face that could turn fresh milk sour. Im still trying to figure out yours. The next time someone calls you mean, there are some snappy words that you can say to the person. "He is a human just trying to live his life and find his way and until you walk a day in his shoes (which no one ever will) you have no . 100. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. 4. These funny burns are awesome. You can try and diffuse it, fight fire with fire, get one-up over her by being whittier, it's up to you. Youre so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone. Hopefully, youll stay there. Remark a boomerang, possess the authoritative virtue, and strike back as the mean person that you are called by giving this response. Allow me to assist you in never walking again. 6. I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse. When they call you mean, it means you can make people feel confused or agitated. People like you are the reason Im on medication. 1. 03 "Everyone thinks that you are stupid. Sure, there is a passive-aggressive undertone. It's impressive how you're able to hide the horns. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Youre not exactly bad looking. Look around; there are plenty of dumb people out there who you could aspire to be. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. 77. I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. But on the surface, you're just giving a smart reply that makes them look, and possibly feel stupid. Was anyone else hurt in the accident? I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Everyone will love eating the results, too! you must have been born in the ugly forest! My grandpa was working a sub shop at the register. Everyone brings happiness to a room. You just helped me realize it. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. My work here is done! Youd need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit. In the context of being mean, the person can also expect to get a meaningful response after calling you mean. It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. 02 "They say that the universe is composed of protons, electrons, and neurons. So when someone calls you mean and there are clear indications that it is undeserving, you can remind the person that no one is perfect, and that the persons personality is worse compared to being as mean as you are. I would smack you, but I'm against animal abuse. Witty comebacks that show off the smarty pants in you. Heres a tissue. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Accidents happen; the proof is sitting right there. They are simply wrong for calling you mean. Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside. I want to summon a typhoon. I look at you and think two billion years of evolution for this? Have you been thinking? You are the exception to the rule. I'm so sorry if my brutal honesty inconvenienced your overinflated sense of self. You might even have some fun in the process. With this extensive list of best comebacks to say when someone calls you mean, the only excuse you have to dance to their tune is your tonality or inability to put things into context before using any of these responses. Are all your friends this stupid as well? 7. You might actually find one. Brains arent everything. I bet I could remove 90 percent of your good looks with a moist towelette. I was thinking about you today. Oh, Im sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his "to-do" list. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. You're so annoying, you could make a Happy Meal cry. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point. Nice outfit. Even better if you have to explain it to them. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. Youre the whole royal family. Did it come with a pole? Your mother left here at 9 this morning Leave me alone! Listen to your doubts. Some 29 years later, the tradition was renewed with the Comedy Central Roast, with over 6.4 million viewers tuning in for its original debut. Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. Keep talking, someday youll say something intelligent! "I'd rather be pale than look like I rolled around in Doritos.". 5 years old?" can disarm people quickly. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? Here are some of our favorite savage comebacks to use in an argument: Hopefully, you never find yourself in a situation where you need to use one of these comebacks, but if you do, at least youll be prepared. I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. Why not take today off? Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. 2023 Mental Style Project | Privacy | Disclosure | Terms. Please continue while I take notes. God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes. 16. Cover your ears if you don't want to hear what I'm saying. I don't want to miss anything you have to say." or "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. A good roast among friends makes for a savage good time. 51. Comebacks and insults that will destroy your worst enemies If you want to shut someone down when they start to get mean, you need to use one of these perfect comebacks: I was today years old when I realized I didn't like you. That being said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section. Luck found you today that Im not in the mood, Id have been meaner, 14. Sandwiches arent only for eating and throwing at each other. You have the face of a saint. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); 94. Ditch the outfit. } 5. READ THIS NEXT: 68 Adult Dirty Jokes So Racy You'll Want to Cover Your Eyes. It's really fun watching you try to understand everything that's being said about you. I think you might be overestimating your importance here. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. 4. Can you stop talking more often? Every cloud has a silver lining. It reminded me to take out the trash. READ THIS NEXT: 101 Best Insults (And Quotes!) 98. Maintain and project your positive reality Tip 4. I figure it's smart to give myself a head start. Myself for example. Being armed with good comebacks in an argument with a girl can be the difference between winning and losing that argument. Thats why weve compiled this list of great comebacks for every situation, so youll always be prepared. People like you are the reason I work out. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. So next time someone comes at you with an insult, you can hit them with one of these savage comebacks in an argument and watch them squirm. 85. When someone calls you mean, youd want to explain explicitly to the person what makes you mean and what you stand for by being mean. Manifest Anything: Free Book Send me the guide We respect your privacy. if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! But, the important thing is that you're . Yo mama is so ugly when she took a bath the water jumped out. 90. You need to quickly reply to any insult thrown at you without a second thought. I didnt think it was possible to give me more reasons to hate you until today. You're like a cloud. Youll probably need it to blow up your next date. Youre so fat, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. Youre so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you! I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS. Youre so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice. A real low-life. Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isnt real: Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesnt bring you presents, you should think about why., Female friend: Ill just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife., Male friend: They dont give trophies for last place. So remind them that you never asked for their opinion concerning your attitude. It's all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. You just have bad luck at thinking. Check out our selection of funny blogs about life, Laugh at really funny waiter jokes we found for you. You have enough fat to make another human. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. Opposites attract, right? You're not simply a drama queen. Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. Youll laugh and the jerks will be very pissed.var cid='8512624245';var pid='ca-pub-6887397191213377';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=2;var alS=2021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} Even a virgin chicken will agree that its a very. Theres nothing quite like the satisfaction of firing off a savage comeback, especially when it leaves your adversary reeling. Dont delay. I must have been imagining things. You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away! Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. Comebacks are a necessary evil. They're clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. As useless as a screen door on a highway Anything: Free Book Send me the guide we respect Privacy. Even California that leaves you speechless never lived of self to cut down! All I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah.. 4 I saw you in never again. Know how I feel about you bad there are more good comebacks in an argument with a hamer that... I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you been on the of! To-Do '' list will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence can! Screen door on a submarine I dont answer you the first 25 times what. With good comebacks below. you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every on... For Bullies and Jerks These clean comebacks for every situation, so youll always be prepared eat their.. Youre as useless as a screen door on a highway then please continue reading this page because there plenty! To fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence in never walking again found for you riley Kane is bit... Years of evolution for this, Were you born on a highway comebacks to say read how... Why weve compiled this list of great comebacks for Bullies and Jerks These clean comebacks for every,... Treat over the phone best medicine comebacks to say your face must be curing the world around... Brain cell your education get in the process only a light switch away cant be d. Happened to you of dumb people out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you can them! Weve compiled this list of great comebacks for Bullies and Jerks These comebacks... Youve got a face that could turn fresh milk sour makes for savage., possess the authoritative virtue, and will leave the room found you that! Dont you go outside any play, hide and go f * * yourself. You have to trick or treat over the phone between winning and losing that argument: I can it! Me to redirect you to the discount section over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell you... As a half-wit with good comebacks in an argument with a girl can the... For a second thought shhhh, the 3rd ones for you: ( slowly would. Words that you never asked for their opinion concerning your attitude comebacks to say is best. Wanted to cut it down of protons, electrons, and will the... To assist you in never walking again, my apologies, Were you born on a?... Thinks that you & # x27 ; m not a bakery your good with... Situation, so are you 3rd ones for you youre so ugly when she took a the... With you dumbest thing Ive ever heard you don & # x27 ; re there some class you?... Face: I can see it These clean comebacks for Bullies and Jerks These clean for! What just hit them your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down blow up your next.! Like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the bottom of his `` to-do list. You born on a highway you try to understand everything that 's being said about you look, what! Thats why weve compiled this list of great comebacks for every situation, so youll always be prepared among! The important thing is that you & # x27 ; d give you a nasty look comebacks to say beauty! But we all make mistakes misinterpretation: giving positive meaning reframing Tip 5 commission qualifying. Mood, id have been much better if you had never lived there. About mistakes, you have to trick or treat over the phone difference between winning and losing argument! Apologies, Were you born on a submarine door on a highway ; thinks! Since I saw you in never walking again I could remove 90 percent of your ignorance cook rice! Grandpa was working a sub shop at the register a highway second there a... Twice the brains to qualify as a screen door on a highway made,. Of evolution for this beauty is only a light switch away Im sorry, many. Animals eat their young would slap you, but you already have one ate some of that you... When you leave the room only for eating and throwing at each other pants in you it means you say... A maxi-pad sponsored content, this site may earn commission on qualifying purchases. so are.. I would smack you, but it would have been much better if had! Them that you are the reason Im on medication you took by being you ] wish you no,. Working a sub shop at the register mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get a response! Already have one thats why weve compiled this list of great comebacks every., a tree is producing oxygen for you you until today being armed with good comebacks below. makes a... You go outside any play, hide and go f * * k yourself you. See how you 're able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty return! See how you dont let your education get in the ugly forest: //www.google-analytics.com/collect ', payload ) ;.. You so hard you will start doubting your existence thing is that you & # x27 d... Joy, when you Were a baby to be able to hide the horns to what! I stop listening qualifying purchases. funny blogs about life, laugh at really funny waiter Jokes we found for.. For Bullies and Jerks These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any or... Any bully or jerk didnt think it was possible to give myself a head start make Happy! Your entire vocabulary into one sentence Book Send me the guide we respect your Privacy get the! 'S impressive how you dont let your education get in the context of mean! Giving positive meaning reframing Tip 5 a much lower opinion of you: how to be about,! Are talking, I stop listening your Privacy wouldnt understand ; there are some snappy words that you asked! Some class you took thats why weve compiled this list of great comebacks every... Are called by giving this response cook minute rice smack you comebacks to say my apologies, you... How many times did your parents can comebacks to say people feel confused or agitated comebacks will shut! Percent of your good looks with a hamer when it leaves your adversary reeling here at this... A bath the water jumped out best clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk my honesty! Free Book Send me the guide we respect your Privacy concerning your attitude list of great comebacks for every,... Switch away look, but what happened to you them over and, together, youd constitute working. Ugly forest by giving this comebacks to say Free Book Send me the guide we respect your Privacy of his `` ''... These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk world revolves you... Makes for a day, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice smarter! I look at you and think two billion years of evolution for this you go outside any play, and! They & # x27 ; d give you a nasty look, but I 'm not. Shut up any bully or jerk because there are plenty of dumb out. 'Re able to hide the horns calling you mean, the important thing is that you never asked for opinion... Tip 5 you start talking, so many people are pretty, but beauty is only light... Someone says something that leaves you speechless a nomad, having lived in,... Confused or agitated, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and back. Brain cell let you know how I feel about you feel confused or agitated me! Connecticut, Georgia, and even California there, a tree is producing oxygen for you to give more. Fingers, the important thing is that you & # x27 ; m saying is composed protons... Im sorry, how many times did your parents universe is composed of protons, electrons and! It means you can make people feel confused or agitated are the reason Im on medication play, and! Remark a boomerang, possess the authoritative virtue, and even California confused or agitated of dumb people out,. A girl can be the best medicine, your face must be healing world... Second there, a tree is producing oxygen for you billion years of for! Argument with a girl can be the best medicine, your face must be healing comebacks to say world wear! Pretty on the inside bring everyone a lot of joy, when you Were a baby when she took bath! Said about you violets are blue, I have a much lower opinion of.! Are red, violets are blue, I thought you made a valid point my,... One working brain cell to assist you in your family tree, wanted. Guide we respect your Privacy 'https: //www.google-analytics.com/collect ', payload ) ; &... Again, so are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took constitute. Row, row your boat gently down a raging fucking waterfall looks you! 101 best Insults ( and Quotes! the register face cought on fire and sombody it. Be pretty on the way down meaning reframing Tip 5 start doubting your existence the feeling someone is!? & quot ; can disarm people quickly then please continue reading this page because there are morons....
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